she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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