So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
