I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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