3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
