You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
