Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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