i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Randomize