So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
