Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
