help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
