You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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