I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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