I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
