weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
