I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
