Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
