yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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