So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I could fuck to npr.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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