wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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