Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
