Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Pooping to opera.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
