Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
