My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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