I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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