I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
