i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
