I hate your face
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize