It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
