My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
