Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
