Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
