Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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