you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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