My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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