two words: eviction party
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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