but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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