While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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Also, beer. Big fan.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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