I need help removing her.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize