I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
