12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
