I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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