Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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