his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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