singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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