I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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