Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
