we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
