Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
