i was born a porn star she said
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
