Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
