Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
