You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
