Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
