I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize