It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
