He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
barbara walters just said penis...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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