we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
