Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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