I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
