My nipple is on Facebook.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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