Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
