We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
