You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize